Five Steps to Discussing a Pain Medication Issue with a Loved One

Do you have concerns about a loved one's use of pain relievers? You want to talk to them about it, but you're not sure how to go about it. Maybe it's just a hunch, or maybe you're positive your loved one is having problems with pain medications. Many people associate this with opioids, which might conjure up images of terrible headlines about the nation's drug crisis. What's the best way to approach them about it in a positive, helpful manner?

Step 1: Learn everything there is to know about addiction and opioids.

By reading this post, you've already taken the first step, so bravo! One thing you must realize is that addiction is a generally recognized health issue. This contradicts the pervasive and long-held belief that substance abuse is a moral weakness. If you want to go deeper, you can look at the Surgeon General Report, which is over 50 pages long. Other things to look into include the indicators of opiate addiction and overdose, as well as treatment choices.

Step 2: Examine your personal feelings about the situation.

It's time to do some soul searching now that you've armed yourself with the information. Why? Because substance use disorder is by nature an emotionally chaotic and complicated disease, even if you know it's a health condition (see step 1). This is true for both those who are addicted and those who love them. Sorting through your feelings ahead of time will help you enter the talk with a clear mind and a sympathetic heart.

Learn about the common emotions you may be experiencing and how to deal with them, as well as why your loved one may be acting strangely lately.

Step 3: Prepare for the talk ahead of time.

After you've completed stages one and two, it's time to start thinking about the specifics of your talk. Choose a peaceful time for you and your loved one, as well as a situation that is completely private. Make a list of the main points you wish to make ahead of time. This will help you keep on track when you're in a hurry. Some folks feel that simply writing a letter and hand-delivering it ahead of time is sufficient. If you do this, tell your loved one to read it and that you'd like to work through your thoughts together when they're ready. Consider asking a trustworthy friend or counselor to role-play what you plan to say or do ahead of time if you have one. To prepare for possible outcomes, practice having your role-play partner react in various ways.

Step 4: Have a discussion.

Above all, keep the conversation grounded in your concern and unwavering love for them! Reiterate that you're doing this out of concern for them and a desire to learn more about what's going on, and that you love them unconditionally. You can't emphasize this enough: addiction and addictive behaviors are shrouded in shame and secrecy. Avoid going into prosecutorial mode, when you try to persuade them that they have a problem.

I sought advise from Chrissy, an addiction counselor, on how to approach a loved one who is addicted to painkillers. "Always come across as their advocate," she advised. You can see how much suffering they're in, and you know that's not a happy way to live. Even if you take pain relievers exactly as prescribed, you might easily become physically dependent on them. Not only that, but addiction changes the chemistry of the brain. Make it clear that you care about them and want them to grow into the intelligent person you know they are. You want to assist them in regaining that spark."

Step 5: Look after yourself.

"Loved ones deserve love, too!" as we say at Workit, and it's quite true. Consider it this way: substance use disorder is a cyclone that wreaks havoc not just on the individual who is suffering from it, but also on everyone around them. Make sure you have emotional support and pay attention to your own fundamental self-care (eat, rest, move, and play). Don't be scared to lean on the shoulders of others who have already gone through it. Many people have benefited from groups like Al-Anon and Nar-Anon, which now have online sessions if you don't want to go in person.